clock ‘em with a tire iron: an interview with author sean beaudoin
I may have mentioned a time or two that I enjoy zombies. I can’t help it: I love to fear them. (The Walking Dead is back! The Walking Dead is back!) So, when Sean Beaudoin’s latest book, The Infects, came out at the end of last month, I jumped on it like a walker on fresh meat. I have to admit that sometimes, I’m a slow reader. Sometimes, when they’re not holding my attention, I abandon books. (Sad, but true.) But this one? This one I read in TWO DAYS. While also planning my own new novel, editing another, doing laundry, packing for vacation, driving kids to preschool, and, and, and…you get the point. It’s gripping. It’s gritty. It’s frightening and fast-paced. But the best part? It’s funny. And, I’m lucky enough to know firsthand (because sometimes we get to hang out), so is Sean. Read on if you like to laugh. And even if you don’t. Hi Sean. So, for those who haven’t read it yet, tell us a little bit about your new novel, The Infects. It’s so excellent that you can barely hold it in your hands. Wow. What is there to say after that? It’s a black comedy teen thriller zombie opus. I think it’s right on the edge of Young Adult to Adult. It has plenty of raunchy language, gore, and zombie sex. So, if you buy it, hide it from your parents. Mostly, I wrote the zombie book that I would have wanted to read when I was fifteen. I think if you’re going to write about zombies, you can’t pull punches and try to be nice. They’re not nice. They’re mindless cannibals. What do you do with a mindless cannibal? Clock them behind the ear with a tire iron. Why zombies? My father took me to see Dawn of The Dead when I was eleven and it terrified me. That terror has been percolating in my center of my brain for twenty years. It finally boiled up and came out whole in the form of The Infects. Are zombies both horrifying and funny? My teenage self seems to think so. But I also still sleep with a night light and footie pajamas. Your main character has the voice of wrestling star and hot sauce action hero The Rock in his head; who’s in yours? For many years the Pillsbury Dough Boy has been whispering rude things in my brain. Pills, or “P.D. Boi” as I call him, is a dangerous and demented character. Fortunately, he can be driven into the recesses of my cerebellum by listening to insanely loud thrash metal. So I do that a lot. But say I’m visiting a library or speaking on a panel? P.D. Boi is right there with me, trying to get me to say stuff like “slacks” and “large intestine.” Where do you write? I have a little office space with plywood floors and a window that overlooks the statue of a famous communist leader. I spend a lot of time in there. Alone. With my laptop. And P.D. Boi. If there were a Sean Beaudoin bumper sticker, what would it say? “You can have my disdain when you pry it from my cold, dead cynicism.” A day in the life of Sean, The Teen. What did he wear? Listen to? Read? Play? Go. His usual outfit was thermal underwear beneath jeans with huge rips in them. Then a black t-shirt with a band name or rude saying on it. Like Mission of Burma or The Velvet Underground or Sex Wax (got sent home from school for that one once). I listened to everything. Beatles, jazz, Stones, funk, classical. That’s mostly because I was always surrounded by music. But mostly I listened to punk and hardcore. Minor Threat, Bad Brains, Fugazi, Replacements, Husker Du. I read anything I could get my hands on. Literally anything. But my favorite writers back then were Jim Carroll, Hunter S. Thompson, and Anthony Burgess. What do you read now? Pretty much the same. Anything I can get my hands on. I have 200 unread books by my bed right this minute. I am currently reading the Patrick Melrose novels by Edward St Aubyn. They’re great. I also dig this Patrick chick. Can’t remember her first name. She’s got a few sweet YA books out about being dead. And then not. Aw, I take that as a huge compliment coming from someone who knows all of the words in the dictionary. So, what is the best part of being a writer? The worst? The best is being alone and typing and not thinking about what you’re typing and then looking up two hours later and ten pages of really good stuff is done and it was sort of like being underwater and you don’t remember any of it. The worst is when people hear you’re a writer at a party but don’t really believe it and come up and ask you stuff like “So, are you published? Would I recognize any of your books? Are you making a living at it? Do you know Jonathan Franzen? Can you find me an agent? What’s your book called again? Have you sold the film rights? Did you hear the publishing industry is struggling? Do you know Stephanie Meyer? Why haven’t I heard of you again?” Sean, The Superhero. What’s his name? Power? Kryptonite? My superhero is called “Just Enough.” His power is he gets things done, but barely. He’ll save the day, but not by much. If evil aliens land, he’ll annoy them just enough that they decide to split and terrorize some other planet. His kryptonite is donuts and couches. Really, if you wanted to destroy him, you’d just have to make a couch out of donuts. Why should readers buy The Infects? Because if they don’t, it will come over to their house and bite a steak out of their back and steal their milk money and turn the family room into a squat and refuse to leave and wear Axe Body spray and use phrases like “it is what it is.” So it would be way easier for everyone if you just went out and bought The Infects. But also it’s awesome and cool and funny and scary. Anything else you’d like to add? If someone offers you a chicken McNugget, just say no. And then run. Also, my next book comes out in August 2013 and it’s a punk rock diary called Wise Young Fool that may be the best book ever written. The publisher, Little, Brown, is in negotiations with the Shakespeare people about who gets to wear the title belt. Oh, and you should watch this trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQOBc2RYCL4 www.seanbeaudoin.com twitter: @seanbeaudoin http://www.facebook.com/SeanBeaudoin?ref=ts
I love your book “Forgotten”
After i finished reading it, I would read it again.
I really want someone to make it in a movie so that people who don’t like to read, can experience the story. I am really a big fan of your work. Can you please write more novels? That would be awesome.
Or at least write a part 2 of “Forgotten”